Monday, November 14, 2011

Woman~ a featherless biped vehemently addicted to jealousy



From "all the World Round", Charles Dickens, 1863


 "The schoolmen, or rather certain of the schoolmen—for nothing is much shallower than to speak of all those disputants as one school—defined woman, "a featherless biped vehemently addicted to jealousy." Whether she is more featherless than the male can be decided at a trifling expense of time, money, and reason: yon have only to go to court. But as for envy and jealousy, I think it is pure, unobservant, antique Cant which has fixed them on the female character distinctively. As a molehill to a mountain, is women's jealousy to men's. Agatha may have a host of virtues and graces, and yet her female acquaintance will not hate her, provided she has the moderation to abstain from being downright pretty. She may sing like an angel, paint like an angel, talk,—write,—nurse the sick, —all like an angel, and not rouse the devil in her fair sisters: so long as she docs not dress like an angel. "


From "The Story of Ninon de l'Enclos" by Ninon de l'Enclos 


In truth, Marquis, women seldom deceive each other by the mutual compliments they pay. All of them know perfectly well, what rate to set upon civilities of this sort: so that as they speak without sincerity, they listen without gratitude: and should the female panegyrist be of the best faith in the world, in other particulars, the fair one whose beauty is praised, in order to judge of her veracity, attends less to her words, than her features. Is she homely? we believe, and love the flatterer. Near our own rank of beauty? we receive the compliment coolly, and disdain her. But, if handsomer; we hate her worse, even, than we did before. In short, believe me, that while the preeminence of charms remains in contest between two females, no perfect amity can ever be established. Can two merchants, who have the same goods lying on hand, enter into a strict friendship together?

Ignorant of this, the real cause of the want of cordiality among women has seldom been investigated. Those who appear the most fondly connected, often break for the smallest matter. Was it this trifle, think you, that occasioned the breach ? It was only the pretext. 

We conceal the true motives of our actions when the discovery may be to our disadvantage. To admit that the mortification, arising from our friend's beauty, had estranged us from her, would be to betray our jealousy, our envy; and we would rather be deemed unjust, than yield our rival so high a triumph. Whenever two pretty women are so lucky as to meet with the least plausible occasion of ridding themselves of each other, they lay hold of it with so much eagerness, and hate one another so cordially, that the nature of the affection which had subsisted between them cannot be mistaken.

Well, Marquis, do I speak my mind freely enough to you ? You see how far my sincerity carries me. I seek to give you just notions of every thing, and am not sparing even of my own expense; for certainly I am not more exempt than another from these failings. But as I trust that all I have said will remain a secret between us, I am not afraid of bringing myself into a scrape with my sex, who would doubtless have great reason to resent my frankness. The Countess, however, is above such disguises, and honestly confesses to the truth of my propositions.

How few women are there of this ingenuous nature. Adieu.

* Damn with faint praise, commend with civil leer.

Ninon de l'Enclos, French Courtesan 




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